Learn to Teach

It's that time of year where it's getting colder and everyone is sick. The time where it's dark on the way to school and dark on the way home from school. It's where meetings and paperwork and grades seem endless. Where you are pushed to reach out to families and remind kids of grades being due soon. Today was one of those particular days where I was in a haze of fatigue and endless tasks. I had grading or coverages during preps and stayed for tutoring after school where only one student showed up. It's been a rough year filled with uncertainty and changes and difficulties, and it's only October. But one small thing made me feel better. One text "thank you for today" from a parent. I helped tutor this student and it made an impact on the student and their parent. This warmed my heart because it reminded me that ultimately this is the job. I help kids. I don't invent, implement, and produce inquiry projects for the sake of inquiry.  I don't

It's mid-June and grades are completed but the school year trudges on. I find myself yawning at 2pm and barely finding the energy to make it through the day. But I still smile, when kids come up to me, even at moments when I'm longing for alone time, I tell myself "They need to be heard. Give them a minute." I try to be present for them, not looking at my phone, or my watch, or my computer. I listen as intently as I can and try to be present. I know that so many kids, from those that are perceived as cool and popular to those that are considered lonely and outsiders, need to be heard. I am grateful in these moments that kids can look to me as a person to talk with. Teacher and student relationships matter and it's more than a hashtag or PD buzzword. Kids are kids and may have great families and lives outside the building, or they may not. The simple act of presently listening can go far. So as I continue to walk like a zombie through the last few weeks of school,

May is a crawl Not a sprint It is a long day's journey into night It is not enough coffee in the world It is going to bed at 8:30 It is not being ready for the alarm For there is no tired like teacher tired Where you've run out of post-its and are low on patience There are endless piles of papers There are exams and bubble sheets and proctoring There are last-ditch efforts to drastically alter grades There are human moments The kids are tired and they see you as a human, also tired The conversations aren't always as related to content Every kid you speak to and that speaks to you You give as much energy as you can to be present and to listen They need an ear, they need to feel heard and seen May is a crawl But the sun stays out later The weather is getting warmer The good moments are that much sweeter

Dear Writing, It's been a while. How have you been? I've been...it's been difficult. I can't say I didn't think about you. I've been busy. That's what I've been telling people and trying to convince myself. I wanted to be with you a lot. I thought about bringing you with me on my morning commute but felt embarrassed. I wanted to be with you when I got home each day and vent but I told myself that wasn't enough. That's not a "real" way to be with you. But here I am again. The typing on a blank screen, the words coming to mind and appearing on the page. The feeling that maybe just maybe, this is how we should be. Together. You are so hard to be with. When I try to spend every day with you, I get bored, annoyed. You frustrate me. You make me lose my motivation. You mock me with your stark white blankness while I search for something, anything to say. Yet - I miss you. When you aren't with me, I feel lost. I feel like I'

Yesterday was your birthday I sent you a message But it didn't feel the same We were so close so fast But not for long It felt sudden and real But a part of me wondered how long it would last I hadn't had a friend so close and so fast It was default Every moment together Spending time with your family Watching your dog We shared everything Clothes Secrets Nannying jobs Boys You hurt me a little You hurt her a lot I feel healed and wonder if it could be better again But for her I hesitant I ripped off the band-aid and didn't look back Today I wonder What would've been

Inside my backpack I carry everything Gum, mints, tissues Chapstick, lotion, Advil I carry my laptop I carry my chargers Pens, pencils, highlighters, sticky notes I carry the weight of 100 quizzes yet to be graded I carry the fatigue of a 2nd-year teacher who hasn't has spring break yet I carry the stress of a wedding that's 4 months away I carry so much It's hard to let others take the burden But sometimes, I must put down my backpack To let everything go Only if for a weekend

When a stranger appears at your door No, I was not busy when you came! I was not preparing to be busy Feed him for three days Your plate is waiting Rice? Pine nuts? Before asking who he is, where he's come from, or where he's headed We will snip fresh mint into your tea Your plate is waiting He'll have strength enough to answer Or, by then you'll be such good friends You don't care Here, take the red brocade pillow. Sentences, words, and phrases from Red Brocade by Naomi Shihab Nye

grape, wine, purple, mauve  magenta, orchid, plum, puce midnight, pansy, dusk boysenberry, jam, refresh relaxing, amethyst, calm

Three Things I Know To Be True Plans All the lists and calendars and appointments can't always ensure smooth sailing Things happen that change your plans Sometimes you are in Prague walking in the square, admiring the beauty And you get a call A relative has passed away All the plans to enjoy change and your focus shifts to your family and their loss Love Love is around in more ways than you expect Even when all you see is darkness and all you feel is pain When you are thousands of miles away from your family and friends You live alone in a tiny apartment, alone in the city of love You reach for your laptop and Skype your family And a piece of you comes back in place Fear This is the one that is with you always, though you try to fight it It was with you when you held your brother's hand, nervous on your first day of kindergarten It was with you when your parents drove away and you were alone on your college campus It was with you when you left everyone yo