Grades are entered. Final Exams are finished and I am reaching the end of my first year of teaching. It has been a whirl wind. Looking back to where I was one year ago, graduated from grad school and so anxious for a job. After I got my job, I was so excited and terrified at the same time. Thinking back to my first day with my students, I didn't know how to be or who I'd be as a teacher. I was exhausted with what they call "decision fatigue", not realizing how many things I'd decide within a class period, let alone a full school day. I remember by December feeling drained, questioning everything, wondering if I'd make it out. New teachers get a lot of advice, often unsolicited, two pieces that stuck with me: 1) don't make a career decision during your first year and 2) have a life. There were many days, class periods, even moments where I thought is this really right for me? But I think that is a normal feeling for any teacher, for any person. The second piece of advice to have a life saved me this year. I consider myself a "bad" new teacher in that I very early on stopped myself. I stopped staying late, I stopped taking all my work home to grade. I felt a lot of guilt about doing this and worried I wasn't being a "good" teacher. I care greatly for my students and their work, but by caring for myself, I feel I was truly better able to serve them. I began doing yoga nearly every day and actually spent time with friends, family as I could. I began to use my time during the day more productively, grading essays, projects, assignments during prep periods. I stopped grading every single assignment I collected. I actually had time to go to events at my school to show up for my students. So despite not having tons of crying nights and leaving the school last, I feel like a had a successful first year. I know that I cannot anticipate the challenges of next year, but I wanted to reflect on how far I feel I've come. From anxious and afraid, to a teacher who students say hi to as I leave school. I am reaching the finish line and am grateful for the support I've received to make it here and look forward to a reflective summer.
Grades are entered. Final Exams are finished and I am reaching the end of my first year of teaching. It has been a whirl wind. Looking back to where I was one year ago, graduated from grad school and so anxious for a job. After I got my job, I was so excited and terrified at the same time. Thinking back to my first day with my students, I didn't know how to be or who I'd be as a teacher. I was exhausted with what they call "decision fatigue", not realizing how many things I'd decide within a class period, let alone a full school day. I remember by December feeling drained, questioning everything, wondering if I'd make it out. New teachers get a lot of advice, often unsolicited, two pieces that stuck with me: 1) don't make a career decision during your first year and 2) have a life. There were many days, class periods, even moments where I thought is this really right for me? But I think that is a normal feeling for any teacher, for any person. The second piece of advice to have a life saved me this year. I consider myself a "bad" new teacher in that I very early on stopped myself. I stopped staying late, I stopped taking all my work home to grade. I felt a lot of guilt about doing this and worried I wasn't being a "good" teacher. I care greatly for my students and their work, but by caring for myself, I feel I was truly better able to serve them. I began doing yoga nearly every day and actually spent time with friends, family as I could. I began to use my time during the day more productively, grading essays, projects, assignments during prep periods. I stopped grading every single assignment I collected. I actually had time to go to events at my school to show up for my students. So despite not having tons of crying nights and leaving the school last, I feel like a had a successful first year. I know that I cannot anticipate the challenges of next year, but I wanted to reflect on how far I feel I've come. From anxious and afraid, to a teacher who students say hi to as I leave school. I am reaching the finish line and am grateful for the support I've received to make it here and look forward to a reflective summer.
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