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Why I Write

Writing is personal and public
As long as I can remember, I wrote in journals.
I wrote about my days, my life, my school and more often my social drama.

I love to read and fiction is perhaps my favorite thing on the planet.
I have written tons of drafts of novels of stories I've tried to tell.
I've written hundreds of poems about my own experiences.

But the phrase "write what you know" has always stuck with me, sometimes prohibiting me.
I had convinced myself for a long time that I didn't know much of anything.
I convinced myself that my own experiences were not worthwhile or of value.
Why write about my own life?
Who wants to listen to stories about me?

This was phase one of resistance

Phase two, perhaps even more devastating was my resistance to creativity.
I used to pride myself on my creativity.
I am a singer and have done theatre and directing.
I used to write songs. I was always in choir and always in a show. 
I felt in all of my schooling until grad school, I always had an outlet for my creativity.

Then came the infamous first year of teaching
I found myself juggling the thousands of endless tasks from grading, to lesson plans, to mountains of to paperwork. To Google Classroom posts, to parent communication, to email thread, and text threads and stress and fatigue.

I began to convince myself that "I am just a teacher".

This phrase is so dangerous and disheartening because teachers do so much for so many every single day.We are in a moment now where people may begin to recognize and respect our work, but it is still a hard career with many moments of unsung appreciation.

Teaching is a passion, a craft, a career, but it can be limiting. "Teachers don't write, they can't possibly have the time." I thought this and so many other similar sentiments. "I cannot be a writer because my identity is a teacher."

2019 I decided to try to break this negative thinking pattern and make this my year of writing. I write now for myself and for my students. I have found that the power of our words is so strong and that in the age of social media, everyone can have a platform and have the opportunity to have their voice heard.

I write for myself to get my thoughts out there. I have no aspirations (as of yet) to be a New York Times Bestselling author, but I have every intention of committing to the idea that I am a teacher writer and the two can be two parts of identity. I can marry my creative self and my teaching self and tell my stories. Writing is power and stories are powerful because we never know who our words may reach.

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