Skip to main content

Hello, It's Me

Dear Writing,

It's been a while. How have you been?

I've been...it's been difficult. I can't say I didn't think about you. I've been busy. That's what I've been telling people and trying to convince myself.

I wanted to be with you a lot. I thought about bringing you with me on my morning commute but felt embarrassed. I wanted to be with you when I got home each day and vent but I told myself that wasn't enough. That's not a "real" way to be with you.

But here I am again. The typing on a blank screen, the words coming to mind and appearing on the page. The feeling that maybe just maybe, this is how we should be. Together.

You are so hard to be with. When I try to spend every day with you, I get bored, annoyed. You frustrate me. You make me lose my motivation. You mock me with your stark white blankness while I search for something, anything to say.

Yet -
I miss you. When you aren't with me, I feel lost. I feel like I'm searching for something that is a part of myself. It's like thinking about how you need to call that friend one morning, and getting home and forgetting you said tonight was the night you'd do it.

You help me think clearly. You help me see differently. You help me realize what's actually going on in my head. You help me remember. You help me move on.

You are a difficult one to love but I'll keep doing it anyway.

I'll be seeing you,
Writer in Progress

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Grateful

Today I am grateful for a snow day. I have just come back from back to back trip. The first, an amazing trip to Europe with my students, and the second a funeral. I've been jet lagged and emotional and I am grateful to have space and time to myself to rest and recharge today. Last week due to all the travel and grief, I was very stuck and felt on edge. I felt easily irritated and found myself neglecting grades in order to try to be present for my family as they grieved. I felt like a bad teacher. I often feel this difficult balance and sometimes find it difficult to be a good teacher and good friend, relative, significant other. I feel sometimes when I feel I'm doing really well as a teacher, my personal life is not as nourished and I don't feel my relationships are being well cultivated. But to the opposite, if I feel I am being a good friend/daughter/significant other, I am not necessarily a good teacher. I am so grateful to have today to pause and rest and reflect. I h

My turkey ran out...

In today's edition of "kids say the darndest things", I had a student who walked into our second-period French class with only 10 minutes left in the period. I know that this student lives within walking distance. I also know this student is a great story-teller. Towards the end of the class period, while students were completing their final class activity, I went over to the late student eager to hear his excuse for today. He explained that he was late because "my turkey ran out of his cage". I was surprised and amused by this story.  "So I went to the slaughterhouse on Friday to pick up a guinea fowl and a turkey" he began. "I had the turkey in a cage in my living room. This morning, my grandma woke me up and yelled 'the bird is out of its cage!' So I got up and went running around outside my house to find the turkey. Then my grandpa woke up and yelled 'what's going on here?' Then I told him about the turkey. So anyway, th

If at first you don’t succeed

If you give students the opportunity to debate and you’ve prepared them with a wealth of resources, Will they participate successfully? Today my answer was no. I found that my best laid plans were unsuccessful. Some students were well prepared with notes while others had no idea we were doing a debate. My success rate is not particularly high with this class, but at our second attempt at a more formal class discussion I had high hopes. I’m feeling down on myself like I let them down. But I’m trying to take the unsuccessful lesson in stride and use what happened today to improve the next time. If at first you don’t succeed, revise your lesson plan.