Learn to Teach

The best part of me Makes me think, makes me dream, makes me wonder It lives in a deep, hidden part It loves fiercely and tries hard It doesn’t like to show itself Yet, it is always there beneath the surface When I am listening to music Reading a book Doing yoga Enjoying time with loved ones It is there, sometimes unhiding, unashamed The best part of me has always been there Even when it hides, feels afraid, feels embarrassed The best part of me is creative and bold when it wants to be It is learning to come out of the shadows It is learning to embrace the light

Today's poem is inspired by The New York Times ad poem "Truth is Hard" campaign beggining May 2017  https://store.nytimes.com/products/truth-kids-poster . The truth is I am tired The truth is I try hard every day, but sometimes not my hardest The truth is I am always worried I'm not doing enough for the kids The truth is I don't feel like the best role model all the time The truth is I make mistakes and forgive my kids more easily than I forgive myself The truth is I am still trying to fully embrace my identity as a writer The truth is I have been faking it hoping I'm making it this year The truth is I love my students everyday, even when they drive me crazy The truth is I know my kids will leave this world a better place than they found it The truth is I get hope from interactions with teenagers everyday The truth is I am only one person The truth is I am me and I am enough

Today is the finale of the March Challenge. While endings can be difficult, we also have a new beginning. With the coming of spring and the month of April, I feel refreshed and will challenge myself to keep up my daily writing habit it all forms. I am inspired by calls to read and write poems for poetry month and am inspired by all the teacher-writers I encountered this month. Thank you to anyone and everyone who read and commented. Thank you to my #TeachWrite community for encouraging me to keep up my habit. Thank you to Two Writing Teachers for this platform and space to share. Happy Spring and Happy Continued Writing!

The sun is out and finally so am I My winter blues have gone away I’m feeling renewed and anticipating the lightness of spring There is beauty in the world again I see it in the blue sky I see it in quality time with friends People out enjoying the sun I’ve reached the light at the end of the tunnel Spring is truly here

To weekends To relaxing To Netflix To tacos To rest To writing To challenges To trying To putting yourself out there To inspiration To hitting publish To sharing comments To reflecting To connecting To writers block To perseverance To keeping up To not giving up

"Yo His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti He's nervous, but on the surface, he looks calm and ready..." To quote Eminem's Lose Yourself,  I felt very nervous for my big speech tonight. I helped start our first World Language Honor Society at my school.  I was definitely nervous for this small but to me very important public speaking event. I gave the introduction speech and had prepared and even had my students and my fiance give me feedback. The day went on and the periods flew by and the hour was upon us. I was definitely nervous as I stepped up to the podium, however, once I started speaking, I felt calm. I tried to slip in a joke about grammar that unfortunately didn't land, but otherwise, it was a success. Parents, teachers, and admin were happy and the whole event went relatively smoothly, despite the wifi at school being down all day. So I am grateful for a job wel...

Today was an in school PSAT and SAT day for sophomores and juniors. Tests were supposed to take up the morning then lunch then running on our normal bell schedule where students attended Periods 1, 2, and 3. However, expectations often do not meet reality. I went to my classroom to prep for my first period. The proctoring teacher had not eaten so I relived his shift so he could eat before teaching his first period. The minutes ticked by and we waited. We were told not to release students until the announcement over the PA system. The minutes became an hour and it was clear something did not go according to plan. As an obsessive planner myself, I was frustrated and flustered, unsure what to tell the students in my room. I listened intently in the hall to glean any information as I tried to keep the aura of calm for the kids. Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting AND WAITING Finally, the familiar sound of the "be...

Buzz Buzz Enter I try to re-enter the 1000th password I can remember and I am still locked out. I scan my brain trying to recall my most recently updated password. Passwords are a puzzle I will never solve. There are too many. Four different email accounts, countless newsletters and listserves. I can never seem to unlock the code. I am trapped. I try again. Buzz Buzz Enter "Forgot your password?" The glaringly familiar and unhelpful phrase. It taunts me and mocks me. I am always forgetting my password. March has been a long haul and at many times I have reached a wall and been "locked out". Locked out of creativity, free time, quality writing, remembering to do something on my endless to-do list. But luckily for me, I will reset my passwords and be logged in soon enough. Type Enter Access granted

Wake up at 6:30 Make coffee Get dressed Take subway to school Press play on podcast Teach Period 1 Teach Period 2 Prep for Period 4 Teach Period 4 Meeting/lunch Meeting Teach Period 7 Prep for Period 9 Teach Period 9 Clean up room Plug in school iPad Press play on podcast Subway home

Bright sun Fresh coffee Blue skies Warm weather Winter retreated Spring has sprung New beginnings New adventures Taking time to enjoy Appreciate the beauty Smile creeping up Darkness fades Lightnes enters I am awake

The long haul to break is here. We still have a little over a month until our spring break. Kids are tired and stressed and teachers are tired and stressed. Luckily we have our normal short day today as we have PD every Friday afternoon. It’s another day of rain and while yesterday it made me feel cleansed, but today it makes me feel drowsy. I long to go home and curl up with a good book and a hot cup of tea. Despite my grogginess, I’ve found some joy in my colleagues who have gone out of their way to make me smile. One of my friends and colleagues came up to visit one of my classes during her prep. I haven’t seen her in what feels like weeks and quickly catching up with her was a breath of fresh air on this dreary day. Today I concentrate my gratitude on supportive colleagues who have becom great friends.

It’s rainy today but I don’t mind. The kids are tired but busy at work for the most part. I gave them a choice board for studying for our verb quiz tomorrow. They enjoyed acting as “question master” where they created their own questions and tested each other. The air is calm and I can’t help but feel the spring renewal on its way. It’s been a dark and often challenging winter but the rain is cleansing and brings the promise of a joyful end to the year.

This week is tough. We are in the month of no breaks and we have a month until Spring Break. I’ve been fighting off headaches due to fatigue, illness, allergies, or all of the above. But today I had a great conversation with a student about the recent cancellation of the Netflix show One Day at a Time. My student shared with me his frustration about the decision especially with a lack of Latinx representation on network television. He shared how the variety of issues from harassment to LGBTQ relationships to single parenting. This student also remarked how in his opinion, Fuller House is not a show relevant to issues today and does not represent diverse perspectives. This student raised so many great points and I was pleased to give him the space to be heard. A Netflix show may not seem like the most important topic, but I was so inspired by the passion my student had and the real examples he used to highlight his points. I hope for my student and for all fans of the show that Netflix ...

Tired, anxious, on edge Later than usual Less time to plan Less time to prepare Bell rings Students file in Feeling unsettled Students are chattier than normal Spring fever in full swing Unprepared for the lack of focus Feeling tension start to build Students not completing the work Repeating instructions four times Less patient Frustrated Losing all sense of calm Pause Breathe deep Take a minute Release the tension The day has only just begun

In today's edition of "kids say the darndest things", I had a student who walked into our second-period French class with only 10 minutes left in the period. I know that this student lives within walking distance. I also know this student is a great story-teller. Towards the end of the class period, while students were completing their final class activity, I went over to the late student eager to hear his excuse for today. He explained that he was late because "my turkey ran out of his cage". I was surprised and amused by this story.  "So I went to the slaughterhouse on Friday to pick up a guinea fowl and a turkey" he began. "I had the turkey in a cage in my living room. This morning, my grandma woke me up and yelled 'the bird is out of its cage!' So I got up and went running around outside my house to find the turkey. Then my grandpa woke up and yelled 'what's going on here?' Then I told him about the turkey. So anyway, th...

Sunday’s are days filled with calm and anxiety. By day I’m relaxing enjoying time writing, reading, doing yoga. By night, I’m beginning to lesson plan and go over my mental checklist for the week and do my laundry. It’s easy to get overwhelmed in monotonous tasks and become consumed with fear about what things the week can unexpectedly throw. But tonight I’m taking time to set aside my anxiety and to enjoy some much needed rest and relaxation with my fiancé. Tonight I take some more time than normal to refresh and reset.

The soft glow of the sun The morning breaks I look up and breathe The weekend is here A time for rest A time for calm The warmth of the bed begging me to stay The checklist is my head quieting down The comfort of the morning The peace of a day without grades or emails Mornings like this I’ll always cherish

Today I take the invitation from my colleague Christie  https://wonderingandwondering.wordpress.com/2019/03/03/your-happyparty-invite-has-arrived-solc19/ Here’s my happy this week: I celebrate the warmer weather and the coming of spring after a cold and extreme winter. I’m happy for students willing to help me out when they can tell I’m overwhelmed. I celebrate family in town seeing the sights of New York City and including in me in fun plans to see shows and spend time together. I’m happy for supportive colleagues who are also friends. I celebrate my family near and far who are only a text or call away. I’m happy for the weekend to rest and recharge. Wishing everyone a happy Friday and a good weekend!

     Thursday is quiz review day. Students walked in groggily to first period with an air of stress, fatigue, and teenage angst only a high school teacher can recognize. Lucky for the kids, I chose to do a Kahoot review.  Upon the announcement, the normal excitement was met with silence. One student asked, "will there be a prize?" I responded, "there will be candy given to the first and second place winners". Students immediately perked up and quickly got out their devices to play the game.    As an educator, I'd love for some intrinsic motivation. I'd relish kids learning for the sake of earning. But on this tired Thursday in March, the infamous month with no breaks, a sweet external motivator was called for.

During my seventh period ESL stand-alone class yesterday, one of my students walked in bubbly and excited as usual. She sat down and said, “So Ms. Hubbard, a funny thing happened in Math today.” We work on her English and social studies in my class but she struggles with math and often asks a fellow student who loves math to help reexplain difficult concepts to her. These two students are friends but often a horrible pair when it comes to math. He gets so frustrated and tells her “it’s so easy” and she gets angry and retorts “for you!” She is a shy-seeming student at first but is never afraid to speak her mind. I know her struggles with math so I could only imagine what happened in math that morning. “So we’re graphing inequalities and learning about how to do it. So I raised my hand and said I had a question.” My first reaction was pride. I thought how glad I was she was speaking up and asking for help. But as I saw the smirk on her face, I realized her question was not to clari...